ARGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

I M VERY SUPER TROUBLED AND FAN!!!!!!!!

Haix, got too much to say le, but cant seem to bring myself to review what had happened over the past few days. I am just too tired for everything. Everything is recorded in my handphone drafts. Dun understand alot of things and cant find answers to them no matter how hard i try.Images and memories are flooding my mind and I cant seem to get rid of them. Why jux cant i let go of it?? I oso dun understand why. Is there a reason for it? Why is this happening to me? Why it have to be me?

Things had changed and no longer the same s the past. Yet i am still standing at the exact same spot as the past and not moving on with time. Mayb that is the reason ba, I oso want to move on with life, I oso want to regain my carefree-ness, I oso want to b as cheerful and happy as the past, I oso want to be loved had have someone always by my side, I oso want to have so many other things. Life in the past is definitely much simpler and easy.

I have slowly come to realise the importance of moving on with my own life and not stand in the past like a stupid idiot. Still in the process of learning how to let go. Diffficult, but i know i have to overcome it no matter what. It is my life, and i have to take charge of it. I cannot let someone who cause so much pain and harm on me and is no longer dere, to ruin my life just like tat. If this were to continue, I wil definitely breakdown one day. I just wan to have a simple life, an ordinary life.

But no matter what, I really want to thx all those who had been there for me one day or another, esp jz in these few days. I noe it getting irritating to you that i cant let go and i m trying very hard, trust me. But maybe it is my personal self that i will not give up so easily ba. Is it a good trait os bad trait? Depends on where i use it ba. At least, it proves that i am a zhuan qing de ren and not like thsoe hua xin da lou bo.

Aanyway, I am still trying really hard and when i jux now came across the photos of me n him, feelings gushed all back again and i had to immediately stop and close the browser after viewing a few of them coz i dun want my previous efforts to go down the drain. Although i am starting to show just a little little progress, and it is so negligible, I still dun want it to be wasted.

He is angry about his dad a few days about breaking his promise to him, but he broke his promise to me also. Does it mean that i have all reasons to be mad with him?? But whats the point, it had occured and is a fact, isnt it? It is just that I am really heartbroken and disappointed completely in him. Just hope that I can be fine and regain myself once again ba. He can take it so easily and forget so easily, I have nth much to comment bout it, but i will definitely learn from him and always rmb wat he mentioned in his post " i felt so drained out and lost. I didnt know what to do then, i felt like calling someone to talk, i scrolled through my phone's contact list, reached a name that seemed so familiar yet so distant now. I pondered a while and i decided to scroll downwards, i think i did the right thing, its time i move on and not cling onto the past or even the future that seemed so blurish. Hope she forgets me soon, sorry for that selfish statement." i felt really hurt when i first saw this and immediately broke down into tears. Luckily my parents were not at home, if not i wun noe how to explain to them. Although this is his post 1 mth ago, this phrase keep echoing in my head, never ending. I felt jealous when i c him with other gers, I wanted to hate him, but cant bring myself to, I am scared that he will do things tat eventually harms himself. My heart is dead, shattered into millions of pieces. He had changed, its a fact.







heartbroken ger trying hard to support herself
learning to let go.........