As time slowly past by, I have learnt to face and accept the reality. What had done cannot be undone, what had happened cannot be changed. Although i tried very hard to forget him and get on with life, I cant seem to do that, I really CANT!! No matter how hard i try, my heart still goes out for him. Although i want to but i simply cannot do it. Haix, I oso dunno why. But I know its impossible betw us (although there is still a little little hope, but i tink it is just my wishful thinking. Its just my character not to let go so easily as i tend to take things quite hard), mainly coz he is jux unable to accept my reserved and less likely to show my emotions, care, concern and love for him. But the good thing is at least nw i can concentrate more on my studies!! Maybe because everyone is mugging like mad and i am more or less affected. For the last few weeks or even months,my life was like a torture, at least now my heart had slowly camled down. Although still will tear at times, bt it is less frequent and intense. Cries=( After so much, I guess I haf grow and learnt new things.
He feel sick and i was really worried. Dunno if it is his throat or nose problem again, really scared that something is wrong coz he always get these 2 prob. Not knowing what had happened to him and dun dare to ask either as I m scared i will cross the boundary as a frenz and besides, he does not seem to be very willing to tok to me again. So i shld not disturb his present life i guess. Just hope that he can get well soon, or i will be super worried. But he seems okiez in school today, maybe a little pale but i think he is recovering fast. Anyway, he got so much frenz around him to care for him, short of me is nothing to him isnt???
Yesterday's talk in the audi with Glenn Lim really serves to make me realise the importance of resilience. from yesterday onwards, I shall learn to be resilient in everything i do. With perseverance, I believe I can reach my goal!!! Jia You =) Maybe its time for me to get a proper diary. Need to come online to write is troublesome at times and my mum dun like me to use the computer so often as well. I shall invest in a nice diary and look out for it when i go out the next time ( wonder when will it be?? haha..)
some people's love and relationship is just so steadfast and steady, making me so envious, but why is it that mine is so vulnerable and cant go through ordeals? Not that I am not steadfast in my love, in fact, I am those kind that will really plunge into love and I haf great difficulty forgetting him. But that my relationship is so vulnerable and leaving me with so much pain and scars all over me.
Miracles do happen at times, and it happened to quite a few people around me this few days. But when will it occur to me?? And what form of miracle will it be??
Hopeful............
